I haven’t sent it yet, (I still have that synopsis to write), but this went through 25 drafts with reviews from fellow friends and writers (at least the Hook/story overview section).
If you have any suggestions, feel free to comment. I just don’t think there are enough example queries out there. I’ll post an updated one if an agent/editor gives me any tips on improving it.
Dear [Insert name],
[Insert reason I’m sending to this particular agent/editor.]
Tirian lives for the thrill of conning gods. Not out of money, but out of endowments of magic. Using his training as a con-man, he convinces gods to endow him with the magic of a priest, then runs off with it. It doesn’t hurt anyone if he robs gods, right? He just wants to play with magic. Tirian’s fun is halted, however, when he’s caught by the god of corpus and forced to spy on the goddess of the mind (suspected of religious sabotage).
While spying, Tirian starts to see how priests help a god’s followers much more than the gods themselves. Not only that, but he also learns that his capture, his servitude, and the conflicting rumors between the gods are all part of an elaborate plot to distract them. Natusana, the new leader of Tirian’s homeland, does not want the gods interfering. She’s angry over centuries of prior oppression by other races, and has begun driving out and killing all those not of her race. When the gods learn he’s been robbing them and want him dead, he has to choose whether to go into hiding, or to risk his freedom by revealing Natusana’s genocidal plot to the very gods he robbed.
ROBBING GODS is my 111,313 word completed fantasy novel. It features a fun-loving thief similar to Eli Monpress in Rachel Aaron’s THE SPIRIT THIEF, and a hard-magic system inspired by pyramid schemes and modern physics (with powers such as thermal, kinetic, and electromagnetic energy; spacetime; entropy; etc.) similar to Brandon Sanderson or David Farland.
I’m Thomas Larsen (writing as Thomas Fawkes). My cell number is: 801-915-3751 and my email is: email@example.com. I have a bachelor’s degree in English. Thank you for taking the time to review my query. I look forward to your reply.