Life musings

Church Anxiety (or Sitting Anxiety)

My brain is abuzz with a billion thoughts. I sit in church and feel “Run away!” The seats are uncomfortable, my neck hurts, everything happens sooooooooo slow.

But, I feel a subtle calmness, a rest, a peace, even as my kids are driving me crazy and my body hurts, I feed an underlying and overlying (and side-planar-lying?) assurance.

The spirit is here, these things are true. I must learn to wait, to be patient as I am slowly spiritually fed. To accept my emotional and physical pain, to be still and know that God is aware of my pain, and if I just wait, I’ll make  it back to him, I’ll overcome my flaws.

Peace, be still. Wait. Persevere. Accept.

Be still and accept that God is in control of every facet, pain anxiety, timing, and those little measures of strength that are just enough to sustain me.

Stillness. Surrender. Acceptance. Patience.

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